INTRODUCTION

Hebrews 13:4
God’s Word teaches that marriage is binding for life. Monogamy is the consistent teaching of Scripture. Polygamy is contrary to God’s perfect will and institution. Under the New Testament, no one has the right to divorce and remarry while the first companion is still alive. When a person becomes born again, necessary restitution concerning marriage must be done without delay if he or she has married wrongly (Genesis 2:24; Deuteronomy 7:1–4; Job 23:11–13; II Corinthians 6:14–18; Proverbs 30:10–31; Malachi 2:14; Romans 7:2–3; Ephesians 5:31–33; Matthew 5:31–32; 19:3–9; Mark 10:2–12; Luke 16:18; John 4:15–19; Genesis 20:3–7).

SUB TOPICS:

1. MARRIAGE: A DIVINE INSTITUTION

   Marriage is a holy union, a living symbol, and a precious relationship that requires tender, self-sacrificing care. It is God’s idea — not a cultural invention. It is a gift from God to humanity and involves three basic aspects:

   • The man leaves his parents and publicly commits himself to his wife.
   • The man and woman take responsibility for each other’s welfare, loving one another above all others.
   • The two become one flesh — enjoying intimacy and commitment reserved exclusively for marriage.

   Marriage provides fellowship, comfort, companionship, and partnership. With few exceptions, most men and women are to marry; those exceptions must be guided by God, not impulsive decisions, imitation, false consecration, or religious compulsion (Genesis 2:18–20, 22–24; Matthew 19:3–9; Ephesians 5:31; I Corinthians 7:1–2, 25–29, 32).

2. SELECTION OF A MARRIAGE PARTNER

   Since marriage is God’s institution, believers must depend on Him for guidance — not worldly methods such as “sampling,” “trial relationships,” or emotional picking and choosing.

   “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18).

   God did not allow Adam to choose for himself; instead, “He brought her unto him” (Genesis 2:22). God brought a woman — mature, sensible, and suitable — not a girl or an immature person.

   God still leads His children today. He guides through:

   • The Word of God (Psalm 119:105,130; II Timothy 3:16–17)
   • The inner witness and prompting of the Holy Spirit (John 10:4–5,27; Romans 8:14; Proverbs 20:27)
   • Revelations, visions, or dreams (I Samuel 9:15–21; 16:13; Joel 2:28–29; Acts 9:10–15)

   Any revelation must be tested by Scripture. If it contradicts the Bible, it must be rejected (Isaiah 8:19–20; Jeremiah 23:21–32; II Corinthians 11:13–15; Revelation 22:18–19).

   After knowing God’s will, believers must seek parental consent before proceeding (Genesis 24:15–29; 34:3–12; Exodus 22:16; Deuteronomy 7:3; I Samuel 18:20–21; I Corinthians 7:36–38).

3. IMPORTANT MILESTONES ON THE MARRIAGE JOURNEY

   1. Parental Consent

   Parental consent is mandatory. It is ungodly for believers to elope, regardless of difficulties from parents (Genesis 31:20–29). Those facing family opposition must pray and trust God to finish what He began (Psalm 37:4; Philippians 4:6; Proverbs 21:1; Mark 10:27).

   2. Courtship

   After parental consent, courtship begins — usually not exceeding nine months. Courtship is for understanding each other and planning the future. It must:

   • Not be secretive — it should occur in Christian homes.
   • Include discussions about finance, desired family size, extended family roles, etc.
   • Maintain purity before and during courtship (I Thessalonians 4:3–7; 5:22).
   • Avoid undue familiarity and gift exchange.

   3. Bride Price / Dowry

   Payment of dowry must follow Scripture. Borrowing money to impress people is unscriptural. It is sinful for couples to live together without fulfilling obligations to their parents (Exodus 22:17; I Samuel 18:25–27; Hosea 3:2–3; I Corinthians 14:40; Romans 13:7–8).

   4. Marriage Registry

   A legal notice must be filed at the Marriage Registry, as required by law.

   5. Church Wedding

   A church wedding occurs only after verifying registry documents. The Church will not join:

   • A partner previously married but separated (Matthew 19:4–6).
   • A lady without parental consent.
   • A believer and an unbeliever (Deuteronomy 7:3; II Corinthians 6:14).
   • A lady who is already pregnant.

   Marriage between close relatives is forbidden (Leviticus 18:6,29). Children of such unions may suffer health problems, and improper relationships destroy family life.

   Weddings in Scripture were joyful occasions with feasting (Jeremiah 16:8–9; 33:11; John 2:1–11; 3:29; Isaiah 62:5). Wedding garments were customary (Matthew 22:12; Revelation 19:7–8).

   Yet Christian weddings must reflect New Testament simplicity and modesty (I Corinthians 7:29–31; 6:12; Romans 14:15; I John 2:6; 3:2–4). Believers must avoid worldliness in dressing and celebrations. God must be glorified.

4. FOUNDATION FOR A STABLE HOME

   1. Leaving and Cleaving

   A new union requires leaving one’s parents (Genesis 2:23–24; Ephesians 5:30–31). Failure to do this harms marital joy. Marriage is “till death do us part,” with no provision for divorce or remarriage.

   2. Intimacy and Communication

   Emotional, spiritual, and intellectual intimacy must be cultivated. When couples hide their thoughts, communication breaks down. The secret of conjugal happiness is mutual love, tenderness, and kindness.

   3. Roles of Husband and Wife

   Wives are commanded to respect and obey their husbands (Ephesians 5:22–31). Submission is voluntary, motivated by love — not suppression. Christian wives must cultivate inner beauty (I Peter 3:1–6).

   Husbands must love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25–28). A loving husband is considerate, understanding, and spiritual head of the home. A wise husband will not abuse his role; a wise wife will not undermine his leadership.

   “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” — Ephesians 5:33